dropped plates (1.42pm)

 

i dropped all my plates yesterday.  i was left standing in the middle of the room surrounded by circles of white ceramic glass.

in the following moments of realization, i didn’t know whether to reach for frustration’s  hand or disappointment’s.  the burn of  tears started to fill my  eyes and my chin dimpled up like a three year old’s.

i looked around not knowing where to begin the clean up….not even sure i wanted to pick them up.
a small part of me wanted to walk away and see how long i could pretend it hadn’t happened.  but when i peeked around the sliding door between the dining room and kitchen, the white discs were not only still there but piled high with a full serving of self-condemnation as well.

i’ve been standing in the middle of it all since yesterday.  wondering how i lost hold of them.  i am  always quick to gently shriek  a reminder to my children not to hold more than two or three at a time.  i am teaching them to know better.

i on the other hand, not always confident of which to leave behind, carry them all once.

when the stack starts to wobble..

  • sometimes i back against a wall and freeze for a while until i feel more steady.
  • sometimes, those closest see my risky determination and  gently take one or two off my hands, walking with me as they can.
  • sometimes i even  stash a few out of sight, hoping no one counts—sees i haven’t got the whole set in motion.

 

but this week, none of  my quick fixes saved me  as  i wrapped my arms around every plate i have…only to drop them all.  and i stood there, feeling as to pieces as they looked…

 

 paralyzed by the mess i had  made of all that has been placed in my life. 

 

and then i noticed the numbers. 

someone lovingly, with one of the few permanent things in this world, a sharpie pen,  had written a simple one, two, or three, etc. on the back of each plate in my life.

 

many plans are in a man’s heart,
but the counsel of the lord will stand.
(proverbs 19:21, NASB)

knowing i would want to do it all,

knowing i would be overwhelmed,

knowing i would freeze when it all ended up in a heap on the floor some days,

knowing i would forget,

 

he took out his sharpie…and wrote directions for me.  his directions.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “dropped plates (1.42pm)

  1. Enjoy reading your daily blob via Facebook. I don’t have a twitter account nor do I want to now since I am at work during the day and don’t look at me cell phone until the end of the day. Your words today are encouraging…thank you!

    • glad to hear you were encouraged! that means a lot… and i appreciate the time you’re taking to read these posts! i’ll keep posting to FB…love your work ethic of no phone til end of day by the way! :)

thoughts, reactions or found a typo? i would love to know...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s