pieces of hurt (12.23pm)

i have forgiven.

i have thrown it over a wall built brick by brick of this will never happen to me again.

forgiveness warily passed over/under the links of chain on my door so that i can have certain before i let life back in.

forgiveness retrieved for others as i hunch over a combination lock that is me counting only on me.

forgiveness i want to hand over…

it has been handed to me without counting  and i have felt the weight-less of not keeping it to myself.

…but it has to get past hurt.

hurt is my monster under the bed, face at the window, what is that noise?

hurt is that ocean’s wave grasping sometimes only a part but pushing all of me down hard into sand, knocking breath out of body, turning me directionless.  i am left crawling into belief that life is best sat out of waiting on the shore.

i am afraid of hurt.  how big it can be. the broken it can leave behind.  i want to pull protection over my head…. not move ’til it passes.

 

and then god whispers.

do not call to mind the former things,
or ponder things of the past.
“behold, i will do something new,
now it will spring forth;
will you not be aware of it?
i will even make a roadway in the wilderness,
rivers in the desert.”       isaiah 43:18,19(NASB)

 

and heaven takes hold of my hurt.  and i am set free.

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4 thoughts on “pieces of hurt (12.23pm)

  1. Those words hit home Kris. I guess it takes time for the waves to settle. Those waves still overwhelm me sometimes. But Jesus is in the boat. He controls the waves. He calms the seas. Not all in our timing or method. But when we’re in the boat with Jesus we should trust Him.

    • ronald…you are so right. it’s hard to hold that trust tight without seeing what he’s making from our hurt. hurt does come like waves and then one day you look around and you realize it has settle while he is taking care of you… xo

  2. It is hard to get over hurt, sometimes it lasts a lifetime, Your writing is pretty amazing Kristi! A blessing! You always show what God can do when we let Him.

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