beginnings. i am in love with the starting.
burst of a new idea.
breath-taking fall into love.
unwrapping. paper saved to remember it.
unpacking of boxes and first pictures hung.
newborn miracle that you cannot take eyes off of.
getting to know. page by page.
i do not want the end.
i leave television series unfinished. the actors live forever in the just before climax when something or someone good is sacrificed for the victory. i keep un-ended.
war. i am childish in my pushing details away. brace against the outcome.
in the middle of youth i would flip through last chapter pages to catch glimpse of hero’s name. looking for the survival before i committed to drawn in.
and god gave me M. because his plans for me are good.
M plans. the end always in sight.
it is the finish that begins the beginning for him. the outcome is the reason for the story’s start.
i more than i want to say hope for M to abandon planning so that my life can be islands of moment. of here and now without what next might bring.
the story of christmas. it has a start. a hero. a sacrifice. a victory. it was part of a plan. keep reading.
after this, jesus, knowing that all was now finished, said (to fulfill the scripture), “i thirst.” a jar full of sour wine stood there, so they put a sponge full of the sour wine on a hyssop branch and held it to his mouth. when jesus had received the sour wine, he said, “it is finished,” and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.
john 19.28-30 (ESV)