someone knocked on my door to give my wrong back. i was startled. not knowing i had handed over hurt my heart sank with the sharp heavy only wrong can bring.
knotted stomach feeling wanted to close door, pull curtains across and not be home to this. i shrink inside at the truth of me sometimes. wanting only the best read parts to show. but i have found no peace in the running away. —it holds less worth now.
so i found steady and opened door. hands held out to receive. it stung. taking back jagged edges of some things i shouldn’t have said. some places i had no call to be. and there was right in need to give back all. to leave open aired room for forgiving. for what can only come with the setting down.
eyes shut tightly, i didn’t want to look closely. but with hands filled and pieces spilling over on to floor in front of me. i have to look down. map out where i do not want to go again.
and when it’s done. when we have sifted through and swept clean, there will be room for the gain in it.
“if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. if he listens to you, you have gained your brother.
matthew 18:15 (ESV)