after i walked down the aisle at my wedding, eyes wet from the overwhelm of audience and heart beginning to still, i opened eyes wide during first prayer to take it in. heads bowed—-these faces and hearts witness to growing up. witness to choosing love’s life long hold. witness to largest-leading-to-best step ever.
there is evidence of this smiling wide-eyed look around while the pastor spoke to god. forgetting friend recording our story from back of chapel, my purposeful peeking has opened the door to laughter many times over.
i am grateful for the growing up with dirt floored, windows open to air churches. for women on one side, men on the other having nothing to do with praise. for bible studies with crowd of muddied shoes left at front door. for handed out cups of milo and powder milked nescafe as important to together as hands held high in worship. for the murmur and movement of small children never an interference with truth and teaching.
grateful for the freedom it gave me to reverence my god with eyes wide open and prayers of conversation. to wear dress blue-green-purple because he knows my heart is his for the shaping and using. to know that he hears in spite of interruption. that the pouring out of grief and need reach him the same as a heartfelt just thank you at meal provided. to know that he loves when we laugh together at silly and he holds arms out to those who need nothing more than to call him daddy. that the babe nursing is his. knitted together in womb and god does not need silence to speak.
there is reverence in living a life toward him.
reverence in our inviting his presence on sticky seats and secondhand sofas.
reverence in our esteem of him despite the noise and mess we sometimes bring along.
reverence in our responding. perfect not required.
when we take off shoes for holy ground, it is because he is holy. not because the ground is.