who i am.

i am in love with change and fear it.

i rearrange my furniture often.  not a shift—exchanging entire rooms. and i have never met a hair color i’m not willing to go on a first date with.

but i put pictures on the wall and never take them down.  i’ve bought the same two drinks at starbucks for eight years.

i can pack a suitcase like a professional traveler, but always leave it until the last minute…hesitant to commit.

growing up as a missionary kid in papua new guinea, change was my only constant.   

papua new guinea was most of all i knew.  but there by the grace of my parent’s work permit, it was temporary from the start.  at seventeen, i returned to the country of my birth certificate…bound and determined to leave it as quickly as possible.

but god introduced me to his plans and has with grace taught me over the last twenty years to make my home in him.  he gave me a most american boy and now three amazing children to share this life with.

my husband has learned to live with the side effects of marrying a third culture kid.

he gives gifts keeping in mind my love of all things australian and  imported.  he gives space while i teach my children love for country and culture that is a world away.

i in turn have learned to give up resentment and grief at a life caught between countries and cultures.  i have learned to exchange solitude without loss for bittersweet seasons of relationship.

i am an open book but have torn out some pages i’m not brave enough to share yet.

i am a receiver of limitless love and in turn want to love without limits.

for a lighter side of me. click here.


28 thoughts on “who i am.

  1. Thanks for sharing, so many similar things to my experience. Finding “home” has been the search for me, even still is.

    • nathan…thanks for saying so! it does my heart good to see your name. love when something pops up about you and i get a chance to see your life.

      that search is a doozy for us MKs i think. god has pinned me down in the last two years and painfully but lovingly forced me to deal with so much baggage i’ve been carrying. it almost feels like i’m being freed up to be myself again.

      and anything you ever want an ear or prayer for. done my friend.

  2. Thanks for stopping by my place. It must have been very interesting to grow up in such an exotic place and very moving to see the changes that have occurred since.

    • it’s funny mike, it was always just home and i used to think of america as exotic and wild and a little terrifying. :) then at some point i realized that i grew up in a NatGeo magazine! png is definitely an amazing country.

  3. lol know exactly what you mean by growing up in a NatGeo magazine. Being a TCK has it’s pros and cons as you know, but there comes a point in one’s life that it’s much more fun to stay put in and root oneself….after 35 years of a life on the move and the last two years being tumultuous, I crave for stability…I love the name planted oak. That’s what I want to be…a planted oak. lol. Tired of being a reed. Enjoying your blog :)

    • you will be. planted. that forever kind that’s in Him. i think when we’re ready to hand everything over, He rebuilds us that way. i know what you mean about roots. it took me a long time to realize i wanted them. i think they are more about people than a place but they are still secure, steady… –K

      • i crave for that with my entire being sometimes, Kris. Just reading your post about your mom and her hands :) seriously love the way you find meaning in all these everyday events in our lives that we take for granted. The analogies are so perfect.

      • keep reading. so much comes from and because of this breaking down and rebuilding that god took me through over the last few years. i have a feeling that you will keep seeing his heart and promises in the middle of both our beautiful messes. xo

      • Your posts give me so much hope and reinforce my faith. Thank you so much, Kris.

  4. ha ha, I rearrange ALL the time! You’re not alone!! Looking forward to your posts.

    • yay for that S. :) took M a few years to get used to it and now he doesn’t even blink when switch the dining room and living room. such a good man. :) –k.

      • aren’t you blessed. I hope that the man God puts in my life is a good man such as yours :)

  5. I stopped to visit in response to your visit to my site. I with your homepage, went to afraid since that was the topic of the f-f-f for today, and then couldn’t resist getting to know you through some of your other posts. I was blessed by the visit. Your style, your honesty, your uniqueness are all welcoming. I feel at home. Thanks for stopping by my website through f-f-f today. And I thank the Lord for using that to introduce us. May God bless you. Maria

  6. really enjoy your writing, i was only 7 and 8 years old when i went to PNG and completely loved every aspect of my experiences there, and didn’t want to go back home to the states. i still think about going back to PNG, SIL. thanks for sharing your beautiful thoughts.

    • hi deanne, thank you. i’m so glad you took the time to read. hopefully you’ll recognize some of your own love for PNG and the imprint those years left on your heart here. would love to hear more about your time there. facebook me! :) –kris

  7. Kris – Your blog site blesses my heart! I appreciate your heartfelt response to my posts. I find in your writing such honesty and transparency and look forward to traveling with you through your remembrances and daily applications, of being planted in the One who is our strength, stability and peace as we live out life. I sense much commonality in our two worlds and anticipate many times of encouragement and just plain affirmation as I follow your posts.
    Blessings to you! Sammye

    • thank you. that means a lot coming from you because i have so much respect for what you do and i feel like what you share has become a valued personal resource for me. i truly appreciate the compliment of this. xo –kris

  8. I lived in a third world culture in Cuba till I was ten years old. The tropical island is as beautiful as Hawaii, but unfortunately is still under communistic rule. That was why we left. When my family emigrated to the U.S., there was a lot of new culture to absorb. Ordinary things like television, a washer and dryer, a refrigerator (we used an ice box in Cuba), and an indoor bathroom were some of the good things. (where we had lived, ten apartments had to share two bathrooms that were located on the property, so we welcomed the indoor bathroom). Peers were the hardest part of my adjustment at ten years of age. When I went to school and didn’t get the rules to playground games was the toughest. I was just learning to speak English. Kids were cruel and made me feel like I was very stupid. Thank you so much for your transparency. You describe life struggles very accurately.

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